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01 January 2008 @ 07:22 pm

It's been so quiet since the kids left.  No abrupt yelps or cries or laughs from the halls. No tiny footsteps echoing along the stairways. No one asking me for chocolate milk every two hours or so.  I've obviously grown slightly attached to the rug rats. For the last week I've been accustomed to this routine of waking up to array of sticky kisses, snotty noses, and curious childlike pupils asking me a million and one questions. The interval of time that I've shared with them has opened me up to a whole new respect for parenting. Between making breakfast [I know right?], running bathwater with bubbles, chasing them around like a lunatic to actually get them in the bath tub, picking out their daily attire--one of my favorites, brushing teeth, doing hair, wiping noses, soothing cries, cleaning up spills, having 'tea time', watching about every episode of Dora the Explorer and Thomas the Engine, not to mention the accidents with trying to potty train...made me realize how challenging parenthood actually is. 

Lesson Learned.

It's not like I was commanded to take on that duty of mommy for a week, but my dad had a terrible cold for two days and was remotely busy with trying to seal this investment deal during the first few days we were here. Then, I just sort of stepped in and got comfortable with my newly entailed duty.  I loved it..for the most part. Kids are so innocent and cute and it's so amazing to see how they react to the simple things in life. They are also so observant and inquisitive..wanting to know everything. I loved spending time with my little siblings, but like I said..that shit was challenging. By the end of one day..I wanted to hop out the window and hail a taxi back home. I don't know how many photographs I snapped of them..I tried to capture every moment that my camera would allow me. I miss them already.. 

I'm enjoying my time down here, its warm and beautiful. I can frolick around in my cute tops and stilettos without the hindrance of snow. Best believe I kept it sexy on New Years Eve. I've been exploring, spending time with my family, shopping, and clearing my head from stupidity. 

The GPS has to be the greatest piece of technology ever..it saved my life. Lord knows I would have been lost and driving around in Mexico if it  wasn't installed in my dad's vehicle. I found myself portraying the guy in that Garmin commercial, when he started talking to the GPS.." I love you. Let's keep it professional." 

I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and brought in the new year just as well as I did. Theres this saying that however you spend New Years Eve is how the year will follow out, I personally hope so.

 
 
04 March 2007 @ 01:20 pm

This movie is my shit, and just like every other movie that I'm feeling..I got into it. So by nature, when they were being picked on and hassled around I was pissed off. But when they came out and showed up the other fraternities with this song I was hooting and hollering at the television. And this by far..takes the fuckin' cake..this song..is hillarious. Thankyou Dede for sending this to me. <3

 
 
10 February 2007 @ 10:18 pm



-dead. 

I have the urge to laugh myself into a coma. Yes, I'm a fan of things that aren't obviously funny to other's.
 
 
08 February 2007 @ 06:42 pm

Anna Nicole Smith  was pronounced dead earlier, and for some reason its extremely shocking to me. Not only because her son passed away last year but she just had a little baby girl. It's like her family won't get a break with the mourning of it's members. I feel so much sorrow for her daughter. What a terrible ending.

Life is beautiful. Breathing is immaculate. With the only life we're given, I sometimes, wonder why some choose to turn to destruction. I wonder why some maliciously choose to disreguard other's, and hurt others with ill intentions. It really irks me. Then there are those that have no form of self respect and choose to live their life without any concept of hindrance. I'm such a walking billboard for the 'live life to the fullest' campaign, but without some sort of self restrait or self respect..that can't initially happen. Living life to the fullest would become such an adverse and turn into a negative situation. But, I'm all about positive occurrences. I want to live life to the fullest, but I'm also cautious about how my decisions and actions will reflect on me and/or my future. 

I want to experience alot in my lifetime. I've experienced alot for twenty-two, but not enough. I want to know all. I want to be able to coincide and relate to everyone. I don't want any kind of limitations on my goals. I want to exceed and be the best. Maybe I'm wanting too much, but life holds alot and I want to be able to experience it all. Theres still alot I need to know in the shaping of me, pertaining to being the woman I want to be.

NOTE TO MYSELF: If I'm not doing something with a career that allows me to excercise my gift for investigating, being creative, and writing--I won't be whole. If I'm not married by the time I'm 35, I won't stress out.  I'll just become a savy career woman with three dogs and an active social life. If I'm not married, then theres no way in hell I will be having children. So if I'm married, I want three son's..[Maybe you can throw a girl in there and minus a son], if my children don't slide out of my vagina by the time I'm 34, I won't sweat it. I'll adopt some children that are in dire need of  good parenting. 

the end.

 
 
05 November 2006 @ 12:34 am
Life is overly compulsive and intense at the moment. But perhaps that's in the crevices in my cranium. I'm [always] delicately inverting situations and pondering over them. Like--what exactly am I doing with my life? Am I capable of loving someone other than myself? Eluding in thought about realities from my own existence is the thing I'm best at. I'm conscious of my emotions, but I'm uncomfortable with the deep feeling--the womb squenching sensation of willingly knowing something isn't right. My emotions constantly test me over and over again. They are what keep me aware--they keep me alive.

On some highly real shit, I'm petrified of love. This love thing is a beautiful foundation, but in the heat of the moment I sometimes feel like I rush over in too much thought. I'm too paranoid with this current state because I've never been so voluble with another human being outside of blood ties. I'm supposedly too independent for this shit, but I fall for his shit everytime. It seems as if I put my guard up when I feel myself helplessly falling. It hurts to be so reliant and in awe with someone, because in deep awareness on the several twenty-four I realize there are no guarantee's in this life. I've recognized that from grade school and past experiences are my only guide and when I pinpoint flaws I realize that it's too late because I'm in love. I get nervous because I refuse to be like those girls I despise-- you know the ones? They know how shit really is but they indefinately blind themselves. I'm no fool..